Re-evaluation

Home stretch. This is what it feels like. A few months before graduation and I still find myself as lost as I've always been.

For years I've been floating around, without giving much meaning and importance to details, trying my hardest to make time pass. I never gave importance to little details and the bigger picture until I felt that it was necessary. It's like being backed into a corner, one day you just have to care-- about the future, about things that once seemed insignificant to my adolescent, immature self. You wake up and suddenly realise that this is your life and that you have to take control. If life is what we make it, then what of the mess I've created for myself?

When that day finally came for me, my reaction was to rush. So many things I've missed out on and dismissed as irrelevant now seemed necessary for my growth. I struggled to find a way to make up for missed time and opportunities. This was the mind set and this is what dictated the rest of my college life for me. I had to finish and that was that.

Now nearing the end of my (not so short) stint in college, I find myself to be the same confused girl typing away on the keyboard at 12 a.m. Whoever said that time would give you wisdom was lying, I can be sure of that now.

Thank God for people who always showed support even in times when I insisted on my (sometimes drunken) idiotic stupor. I am and will be forever grateful for the patience and the insight.

Today I realise that now, more than ever before, there is a need for re-evaluation in  my life. I have to decide on what person I want to be years from now, when this college endeavour is all but a distant memory. No longer will I be a victim of the tide. The decision to control my future begins today. 

Today, I start to become the person I am to be.