Of Coins and Blogs

See, there are two sides to a coin.

I've has an on/off love affair with blogging since I was in high school. This was during a time when I just needed somewhere to scream when things got heated up. This was where I learned that whatever I write, I release to the world. Whatever I write, I should be responsible for, because whatever I write would represent me.

For some this wouldn't be an issue, but it became one for me. How could I possibly censor myself? How could I possibly align this mad, raving, adolescent to the noisy, chatty, grown up wannabe role I sometimes find myself in? How could I be transparent to the world without compromising who I am?

For the longest time, blogs were an outlet. It was a friend I confided in when I felt the lowest of my lows. It was also a friend I left every time I felt a little better, ashamed of what anger or a bad mood had caused me to say. I jumped from one blog to another pouring myself onto virtual paper, one virtual friend after another, without anyone ever finding out.

I am finally making a conscious effort to stand in the middle. Compromise, as I have learned these past few years, is essential. It does not necessarily mean conformity, or losing one's identity, or being (god forbid) boring. Like I said, there are two sides to a coin, but there's always a middle.

I made a little promise to myself. Told myself that I'm gonna be keeping this friend.

xxx