Monday, October 3, 2011

Mistakes we knew we were making.

An open letter to a friend.

You disappoint me. I thought you had your principle, I thought you always did right. It's sad because I vouched for you. I told her to listen to you, to believe in you. I trusted you, that doesn't even matter.. She trusted you. 

You broke it, well, they say it was long broken. True as this may be, you should have at least had the balls to admit that to yourself, to her. You sung her beautiful songs filled with illusions and made her believe there was actually a chance to fix the mess that was your relationship. She believed you. She always believes, that's why I love her, that's why you love(d?) her. Remember that? Remember the love? I know you do. 

I saw you ache, don't think I don't understand how you tried. I was the one who talked you that night remember? Amidst tears and hysterics? But again, It was you who still wanted to pursue, even after that. You would not give up. That I applaud you for, though in retrospect, it seems you did not do it for the right reasons.

You threw it away. Not the relationship, but the trust, also the respect we had for you. You threw it away for what? 

The lookalike. A more convenient version. Someone from Taft. Someone who reminds you of her (oh come on, you admitted that she does look like her, you said that it was "G"), but without the problems and the doubt. If it makes you happy I guess. You may say that I don't know this new girl, you two might have something beautiful, fine. But, you can't run away from the fact that when you look at her,  a little part of her reminds you of my friend, your ex. Atleast admit that to yourself.

And the new one thinks It's all brand new, you and her. I wish for your sake it is, I wish I dreamt up this pattern I see with you and your women. I wish you don't do to the new one what you did to the old one, rest assured when that happens, I will be laughing at the lookalike.

 I wish that if and when that happens, the lookalike realizes how hard this is for the old one. Lookalike doesn't seem to realize the mess she's included herself in. Deluded, that one.

You deserve to move on, yes. I just wish you realized that she deserved to know. You were selfish, you moved on, but robbed her of the chance to do the same. 

My friend, you're ex, she's hurting. I guess that's expected. I never said she had no part in how this fell apart. I just never thought you'd be the one tying it with the perfect bow. 

I wish you happiness and love, but most importantly, I wish you find it the right way. 
I wish you find yourself and the courage to let go of certain things.
I wish that you finally mend what was broken.
I wish I find the trust and respect I once had for you.

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